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[ 73] Purr: A Raid Story
Board: Art
Date: Mon Feb 25 17:21:29 2008
To: all
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"I don't understand why nobody likes us," murmured Franny to a loyal
companion guard. "We're strong, 'warrior women' but that shouldn't
intimidate people so much." The guard nodded noncommittally, but rolled
her eyes out of sight of the fearsome leader. "They're just jealous, my
liege."

Franny pondered this for a moment, but it was another of those concepts
that was a little too difficult to grasp. With a shrug, Franny grabbed the
guard's hand and tugged her towards the back of the clan hall. "Let's go
play ticket-taker."

Moments after the pair was out of sight, one of the large marble statues
lining the hallway began to shake. Muffled grunts sounded from behind the
statue, until finally it began to slide noisily to the side. After a few
seconds, an opening in the wall was revealed. Standing in the opening was
a small, impish creature with glowing eyes.

"You're right! It WAS a back entrance!!" cried the fae as he emerged into
the brightly lit warriors' hall.
"I told you!" said the second fae to spill out into the room.
"I know, but wow! We're here!"
"This is going to be the best prank ever," cried a third as he leapt in
and peered around the quiet hall.

Cheerful fae laughter began to fill the hall as more of them tumbled
through the opening. Following them, a bit more quietly, was a shadowed
and somber triton wrapped in a dark cloak. "You guys want to keep it down
a bit? We don't want to call this much attention to us yet." Confused eyes
blinked at the triton.

"Of course we do! How else are they going to know we're here??"
One of the fae produced a bullhorn from one of his bags and put it to his
mouth. "WE'RE IN YOUR HALL! AND I'M AWESOME!"

Angry shouts echoed through the hall in response, along with the clangs of
people hastily donning their armor. The fae tittered happily and returned
to their random chaos. A can of spraypaint was produced, and various
crotches and butts were painted across the walls.

"Hey guys! I found a playroom!!!" came a voice from the next room over.
"Toys?!" Nearly all of the fae sprinted into the next room, only to pause
in confusion.
"This.... this is weird." said the triton, looking over the fae's heads at
the scene before them.
"It's like the KSR, only.. train-themed."
"Is that a caboose/sex-swing?"

As a fae rummaged happily through a drawer, she pulled out a relatively
small box.
"Awww, this is sooo cute!"
"What is it?"
"It's a cat that you can keep in your pocket! See, it says Pocket Pu-"
She was interupted by the raucous laughter of the rest of the group, and
pouted for a second before continuing. "I know Keeten doesn't like being
shoved into pockets. I bet this one isn't as grey though."
"Keeten is grey." Muttered one of the fae by rote.
"So grey!" They all responded, except the triton who looked midly
confused. The fae all glared at him expectantly.
"Umm.. So grey?" He tried, and they all beamed happily at him.
"Choo Choo!" cried out another fae. They all turned to look and blinked
in horror.
"Bob?"
"That's CONDUCTOR Bob to you!!"
"Sorry, Conductor Bob? There's a big hole in your crotch."
"Nuh uh, I'm a guy!"
"No, in the pants. That outfit is crotchless."

And so it continued, with the fae merrily playing with the toys in this
new and disturbing version of the KSR. Finally the triton and two of the
more serious fae got down to business. One of them pulled out a wrinkled
and torn piece of paper from their pocket. "I got a map!" Holding it up,
he blinked at it, then flipped it around. Scratching his head, he turned
the paper again trying to orient himself. "So.. if I understand this
correctly, we can find stuff to buy THAT way," pointing down a dark hall.
Tossing the paper over his shoulder, he darted off down the hall with the
other fae close behind. The triton stopped and picked up the map, "Hey,
you forgot your..." glancing at the paper, the triton sighed and tossed it
aside before following the pair down the hall.

Soon, all of the fae were in the shop, shouting at the shopkeeper and
trying to be heard above the angry voices of the warrior women echoing
through the hall. Buying their fill of items without really looking at
them, they all blinked out of the hall one by one. Soon, all that was
left was a sticky mess in the play room, disgusting graffiti, and a lone
piece of paper laying in one of the rooms.

Franny picked up the paper, and frowned at it. "AN INSULT! On top of
everything else, they insult me!" Looking at the paper, a loyal guard
stifled a snicker at the stick-figure drawing of a well-endowed woman.
Scrawled across the top was the word 'map' and lettering across the bottom
indicated 'hahah, bewbz.'

In the fae hall, there was much merriment until they began opening their
bags and examining their loot. "WTF is this? You promised us cookies!"
shouted one of the fae in disgust, throwing a pair of earrings at the
ringleader. "Armor?! Where's the shiny glitter potion?" "Boots? Why
would I want boots?"

--Later--
Franny leaned into the mirror, adjusting a touch of lipstick. Perfect.
Posing and leering through half-closed eyes, Franny muttered obscenely to
the reflection in the mirror. "Would you ride my train? I'd ride my
train." Franny began to dance, naked but for a shawl around the
shoulders. A loud knock at the door ended the dance.

"WHAT?!"
"Uhh.. Delivery for a Mr. Franny -"
"That's MIZZ Franny!"
"Yeah, whatever."

Franny threw the door open. A large pile of the clan's equipment
immediately snowed down into the room, trapping Franny on the floor. The
express-man grinned at the sight, then tossed a piece of paper down next
to Franny's face.

"There's a message, too." He blinked out of the room with a laugh.

Franny groaned and turned to look at the message laying on the ground.
Written in crayon, it said:
Here's your junk back.
Please to be putting more cookies in your clanhall. And glittery
potions.
--The Fae [+ 1]-',{


Legal fine print:
Any similarity to persons appearing in this story and actual Aard players
is a happy, hilarious (imo) coincidence. This is a story, made up but
based on actual TRUE events. Your mileage may vary. I am not a lawyer.
I'm not a doctor, but I do play one on TV. I stayed at a holiday inn
express last night, and I enjoy subway sandwiches from time to time.

Oh, and ... sorry for an typos, but I tend to mix up F and T an awful
lot.

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