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(Friend) Felt: 'okay, so Dash and Chuft and mom went to church on sunday, the scripture was from 2 Timothy, 4:7, which is "I have finished the race, I have kept the faith"...Dash turns to Chuft and says "Yeah, that's what Hitler said"'

(Friend) Vaun: 'thats like last summer when we had a bar mitzvah at the water park and I asked at the morning meeting if it would be bad for me to invite the kids into the kitchen to check out the pizza oven'