Random, with positive rating

#17014 + (180 ) X
(Imm) Grumpy Lasher: Lets play socket dice.
(Imm) Grumpy Lasher: It's like battleships, we dice 1,255 4 times and if the i/p address matches an online player you get to nuke them and win points equal to their level.
#18492 + (30 ) X

(Friend) Baktosh: 'If you SH loud, I'm demoting you until you're in retri'
#15299 + (33 ) X
(Friend) Dispel Majic: 'i only use one vibrator'
(Friend) Dispel Majic: 'at a time'
(Friend) TaterSalad Dashiell: 'per hole'
#19002 + (36 ) X
You tell Filt 'Could you please do me a little favour? Neeple and I were having mudsex last night, but we had to stop short because he was picking up Danj from somewhere. Now I'm stuck in his imm room and he's passed out from something :P Could you trans me please? :)'
Filt tells you 'Trust me, I've been in the EXACT same situation. No problem.'
#17113 + (27 ) X
(Friend) Klaatu: 'My next D&D character: "Guy Whose Balls Have Been Replaced by Tiny Beholders"'
#16292 + (24 ) X
Jaenelle gossips 'Oooo, and today is intenational women's day. :P'
Fiendish gossips 'women only get one day?'
DeamEyes gossips 'and they can't even spell their day right'
DeamEyes gossips 'intenational hehe'
Jaenelle gossips 'It's not even 8am. :P lemme be.'
Joelz gossips '"Honey, grab your coat. It's international women's day" "Ooh, where are you taking me?!" "Nowhere, I'm turning the heat off because I'm leaving. Grab your coat."'
#15879 + (30 ) X
(Imm) Majic: The last time Tela went to the gynecologist, she couldn't understand a word he said, due to the echoes from the cavernous, gaping maw between her thighs.
(Imm) Sindayne: it's not cavernous, just because it take's 4 penis' to fill it doesn't mean anything :P
(Imm) Tela: nods, that's when she (the doctor) crawled out from Majic's dripping twat to do my yearly check up
(Imm) Mojo: 4 penises or just one Aussie Special *il*
(Imm) Vega: Yes. Tela is only satisfied by kangaroo cock.
(Imm) Majic: Then she crawled into yours, and dragged four other people inside with her.
(Imm) Tela: The last time Chuft went down on Majic, Imperium got raided because they had to send the whole clan in to rescue him.
(Imm) Calabus: now hold hands and form a line....
(Imm) Majic: Now he takes a lifeline in instead.
(Imm) Ashkelon: Last time Chuft drilled Majic, he struck natural gas...
(Imm) Dashiell: Tela's vag is used to park Greyhounds.
(Imm) Dashiell: and I don't mean the dogs.
(Imm) Majic: However, three brave men are still lost in the dripping innermost recesses of Tela's vag, having gone in to rescue a Greyhound bus.
(Imm) Tela: I told Majic to "bend over and spell RUN", and 3 Mexicans fell out of her gash.
#16249 + (26 ) X
Oladon tells you 'So... I'm writing a MafiaBot.'

[HELPER] Joelz: 21 Feb 03:44 - Oladon tells you 'So... I'm writing a Bot.'
[HELPER] Joelz: aww, bad Oladon!
[HELPER] Oladon gasps in astonishment.
[HELPER] Uh-oh. Oladon is pointing at Joelz, screaming, "LIES!" once again.
[HELPER] Joelz giggles.
[HELPER] Maxx: faes never lie
[HELPER] Oladon snickers with Maxx about their shared secret.
[HELPER] Joelz: Amen!
#15282 + (29 ) X
(Friend) Vaun: 'so this asian girl named Huong came in to work today with an obvious hangover'
(Friend) Vaun: 'and i teased her about it all day'
(Friend) Vaun: 'then made her a new nametag that said Huongover'
#16646 + (30 ) X
(Friend) Vega: 'I wonder what it would feel like to have no nipples.'
(Friend) Majic: 'cut them off and find out'
(Friend) Vega: 'I'm tempted.'
(Friend) Vega: 'I got a knife and some nail clippers that would totally do the job'
(Friend) Majic: 'make sure your knife is sharp'
(Friend) Majic: 'and i recommend disinfectant of some sort'
(Friend) Vega: 'Like pine sol?'
(Friend) Majic: 'stronger than that.'
(Friend) Vega: 'Everclear?'
#17116 + (28 ) X
(Friend) Airport Althalus: 'so does anyone know why emerald doesn't have a map of walmart posted yet?'
(Friend) Airport Althalus: 'seriously, oladon and I were lookin for lemon heads in walmart, and couldn't find them. We tried to download emerald's map, but nooo, they don't haveo ne!'
#19106 + (55 ) X
(Friend) Argyle: 'I hope no one shoots up batman when I go see it sunday'
(Friend) Argyle: 'but since this is canada I guess the most I have to worry about is some maniac brandishing a hockey stick'
(Friend) Betrayal: 'or a moose call'
(Friend) Argyle: 'some crazy fuck with a hot cup of coffee pouring it on everybody'
#18871 + (43 ) X
(Friend) Ice Mage Demonspawn: 'I don't even know what that is'
(Friend) Ice Mage Demonspawn: 'I think you're ascii art failes'
(Friend) Ice Mage Demonspawn: 'fails'
(Friend) Ice Mage Demonspawn: 'your'
(Friend) Ice Mage Demonspawn: 'FUCK EVERYTHING ABOUT TYPING'
#16408 + (34 ) X
(-DoH-) Fiendish : ok, vega lives in sharpstown, but he can't drive yet
(-DoH-) Fiendish : that's sorta near me
-=Tanelorn} Aelfwyne : one of us could pick him up
[Emerald] Vega : Don't think I'd be allowed to go though:(
[Emerald] Vega : My mom r mean:(
-=Tanelorn} Aelfwyne : ahh darn
(-DoH-) Fiendish : i'll bslap her
(-DoH-) Fiendish : errr i mean ask her nicely
-=*)Dragon(*=- Kalathor : Just tell your mom you're leaving with some strangers from an internet text-based game.
(-DoH-) Fiendish : usually does the trick, kalathor :)
[Emerald] Vega : but mom! they said they have candy!
-=Tanelorn} Aelfwyne : and peanut butter logs!
--Daoine-',{@ Jaenelle : Or be like me and lie to your parents :P
-=Tanelorn} Aelfwyne : yeah say the nerds are all having a back-to-school studyfest to get back into the swing of things
#16852 + (34 ) X
--Daoine-',{@ Purr: look! in the sky!
--Daoine-',{@ Purr: it's a bird.. it's a plane... it's nyarlathoteps wang!
--Daoine-',{@ Korridel: Christ! It's like a 747!
--Daoine-',{@ Korridel: Where does he park that thing?
--Daoine-',{@ Joelz: often mistaken for large aircraft, in fact
--Daoine-',{@ Nyarlathotep: O.o
--Daoine-',{@ Cerisa: It blots out the sun!
--Daoine-',{@ Purr isn't called Aircraft Carrier just because of her large
--Daoine-',{@ Korridel: and has a heavenly glow from the sun around it.
o-}HooK{-o Robbo cums in for a landing.
--Daoine-',{@ Joelz: It's a weapon of mass fuck-tion!
--Daoine-',{@ Nyarlathotep: The weather forecast is.. wet.
--Daoine-',{@ Purr: able to hump the tallest buildings!
--Daoine-',{@ Korridel: It comes faster than a speeding bullet!
o-}HooK{-o Robbo: in a single thust?
o-}HooK{-o Robbo: in a single thrust, even?
--Daoine-',{@ Purr crosses her arms and nods slowly and sagely to Robbo.
--Daoine-',{@ Korridel: On good days Robbo.
--Daoine-',{@ Purr: I see you've been humped by him in the past, Robbo dear.
--Daoine-',{@ Joelz: More powerful than a locomotive!
--Daoine-',{@ Purr: However, I know his secret weakness... no no, it's not
--Daoine-',{@ Korridel: And it's declared a nuclear weapon. Well, when it
goes off, everything's in a version of a nuclear "winter"
--Daoine-',{@ Purr: Soap
--Daoine-',{@ Purr runs away in utter terror!
--Daoine-',{@ Purr: The mayor has a wangphone in his office just in case he
needs some cock, stat.
#16071 + (36 ) X
(Friend) Torasin: 'Tir: I will sodomise you with a glass covered baseball bat until you die.'

(Friend) Tir: 'Torasin: I hope you choke on a fucking grape. It would be an appropriately wimpy end for a little shit of a man such as yourself hey double'
#16395 + (25 ) X
Really quotes 'An Aardwolf first! (Friend) SenYavin Fnor: 'damn i cant even get any from dalcia'
(Quote) Zetsumei snickers softly.
Really quotes 'That either means you're _that_ bad or... well you're _that_ bad ;D'
#15127 + (70 ) X
(Friend) 1337 Hax0r Fiendish: 'Cock Mobsterrrr!! It's a porn utopia, a cornucopia of warm fallopia.'
#17141 + (29 ) X

(Friend) Brave Haart: 'hamfucker.'
#15929 + (64 ) X
.:|Wolf|:. Valkur : would be on top of you in no time... err i mean higher up in rank
#19084 + (50 ) X
(Friend) Darth Johns: 'You have to understand. He didn't so much come out of the closet as he did backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.'
#20030 + (69 ) X
what the fuck is the quote submitted
#18198 + (27 ) X
Proof Kelst likes little boys.
(Friend) Kelst: 'INFO: You hear a loud scream as Snagandorf is brutally killed by a mass of tentacles.'

(Friend) Kelst: 'I thought that said testacles'
#15619 + (41 ) X

[ 814] Mirrim: In the Na-vy!
Board: Claninfo
Date: Fri Sep 1 12:30:15 2006


As you can see, Clan Daoine is currently accepting applications into our merry
fold of mischief makers. If you place this note underneath your tongue, you'll
be magically whisked away to an interview with myself, Torasin, Diggler, Janis
Joplin, Spydabyte, Valkur, Smoo, and Jimmy Hoffa wherein you'll be shown the
tender warm side of the love that dare not speak its name.

Either that or you could read our help file, website, and write us a note on
the personal board. I'm going with the former. If you're REALLY saucy, you
can print a copy of this missive out and, following the directions featured
on: http://dev.origami.com/diagram_load.cfm?pdfname=cat.pdf make me a
fricken origami cat.

Then place it under your tongue.

Hope to hear from you soon,
#18947 + (45 ) X
Six Six Six tells you 'You have a pretty amazing ass cutie, I like how it flexes in your jeans that you wear on tuesdays. You don't know what your denim sticthing does to my heart. You have a great way of typing online too. Please, I am only interested in females, so can you put this wig on and give me a hand job?'
#16006 + (20 ) X

(Friend) Sativa: 'vidblain is in canada?'
#17405 + (71 ) X
(Friend) Maximus Jeter: 'Mirrim, last time I explained anything with you involved it resulted in a gclan -h post to Emerald with drunken cat calls and inuendos .. I felt like Clinton caught with the damp cigars'
#20096 + (61 ) X
CLAN: A piercing squawk penetrates the air as the Parrot discovers HazeKnight in a keg of rum.
HazeKnight (First Mate) tells the CLAN: 'why do stars, fall down from the sky'
HazeKnight (First Mate) tells the CLAN: 'GONE'
HazeKnight (First Mate) tells the CLAN: 'LIKE FRANK SINATRA'
HazeKnight (First Mate) tells the CLAN: 'LIKE ELVIS AND HIS MOOOOOM'
CLAN: The bunks stop creaking as HazeKnight finally passes out from too much plundering.
#19091 + (53 ) X
Snuck (First Mate) tells the CLAN: 'in high school I drew about 20 penises in a nadia comaniche (sp?) book...she liked the cock...a lot'
#19657 + (33 ) X

Winkle utters the words, 'Haste Quest Wait'.
Winkle gets a bored look in his eyes.
#18075 + (29 ) X
SpyWolf barters: agh , wheres Alhena
Charitable Charneus barters: AFK because she has a life, too?
HelperMan Hadar barters: people do have to work, we cant just all play aard 24/7
Trashbat! Anipopo barters: unless you're in retri
#19815 + (62 ) X
From : Ununoctium: Telling Off Questor
Forum : Ideas - #34392
To : all
Date : Sat Jan 16 00:35:25 2016
| This has probably been suggested before. I don't have Bypass, so I
| occasionally get quests or campaigns for areas I refuse to enter.
| Can we have an option to 'reject' a quest or campaign? This would be
| identical to 'quest fail' and 'cp quit' as far as mechanics, but would
| make it abundantly clear that the quest or campaign was rejected by not having
| the player hang their head in shame (perhaps, have us give the questor a salute
| requiring a very limited number of fingers).
| 118
#17565 + (30 ) X
(Friend) King Trollemite: 'i went on ebay and looked for lures for the dongfish'
#19452 + (67 ) X
/Shadokil/ Save a Rezit: Like when biggie was pk'd in des.
[-=Masaki=-] A Grim Euforia: I know, I remember when we would roll with the possie down to DES, mess up the reds and blues, then pour a 40 out for the lost members, then flee from Retribution!
#18966 + (50 ) X
(Imm) Ringo: HHAHAH before you think about taking a leap into masaki clan... know this... if you talk on clantalk after you've been given the punishment of not being able to talk on clan talk... they will boot you after setting you up to ask if anyone wants a tp.... and you say me on clantalk...
#19150 + (52 ) X
How NOT to apply to clans when you haven't told your current clan your plans:

From : Tank: Joining
Forum : Personal - #458873
To : leaders retribution
Date : Wed Sep 19 16:16:29 2012

My mud name here is Tank, and my real name is Chad.

I have 2661 hours online and I mud mostly 4-5 hours a day Monday - Friday.

I have been part of the Watchmen Clan, but I am looking for something more fun

I want to join Retribtion for a couple different reasons.

1: Very active players
2: Like the idea of being part of a clan that is badass :)
3: Most of the muds I play I am a good player killer (still learning here)

I partied a bit with Weeds, and he was telling me all about your Clan.
I REALLY want to learn the art of pk here on Aardwolf..
I can contribute in many different ways:
1: I do campaigns rather quickly and gain levels as well.
2: I am eger to help the clan however possible.
3: I and VERY loyal and will jump to help someone if needed.
Please consider me as part of your clan.
I may not have all the war, pk, duel kills needed, but I want to learn
and learn from the best
That is why I want to join.



CLANINFO: Stendarr's rage is boundless as he casts Tank from divine favor!

INFO: Tank is now a wanted outlaw!
#19681 + (31 ) X
An immortal Nobletalks: 'thought you said "will my brains be transferred"
for a moment there'
#17527 + (30 ) X
(Friend) Malcontent Vaun: 'so, tpoday at recess, my kids found a bag of dog poop'
(Friend) Malcontent Vaun: 'and chased eachoter around, thorowing it an one another'
(Friend) Malcontent Vaun: 'finally trhe bag broke and one kid ended up with poop smeared all across his neck'
(Friend) Malcontent Vaun: 'at some point, they had to realize they were playing with poop'
(Friend) Malcontent Vaun: 'and they were ok with it'
#17489 + (26 ) X
A small parrot chants the phrase 'is mean'.
#19045 + (51 ) X
<a friend> tells you 'Sheen, your nostrils are so snotty and filled with coke, they could be called the Hilton sisters.'
#17398 + (23 ) X
(Friend) Breast Feeder: 'CHOKIN GIRLS WITH COCK'
#17469 + (30 ) X
(Friend) Nostalgic Phantym: 'my mud client as in I use it myself, I'm not a freaken programmer, I'm 14yearsold, I need to go to school and play sports and drool over girls and stuff'
#16548 + (29 ) X
(Friend) -*-Leis-*- Chanai: 'clown sex is just.....kinky'
#18621 + (40 ) X
(Friend) IdleBot Rennek: 'so, we have one of those energy efficient lights in the bathroom... I don't like it, because it's slow to get all the way bright... and I always feel, like when I really have to poop, that I was straining myself so hard that the light in my vision dimmed, and is slowly coming back'
#16498 + (31 ) X

(Friend) Maximus Jeter: 'no more yanky me wanky the jetter need bed'
#15818 + (31 ) X
NekoHiryuu Yoshi barters: Just put some nude fold-outs on the clan walls, cover them in super-glue and voila, raider fly-paper.
#20149 + (32 ) X
[02 May 23:10:36] o-}HooK{-o Wars: Huko says 'youre just going to run if i get close to winning'
[02 May 23:10:40] o-}HooK{-o Wars snickers softly.
[02 May 23:10:44] o-}HooK{-o Wars pats Huko on her head.
[02 May 23:10:47] |Watchmen| Huko: im not wrong
[02 May 23:11:07] |Watchmen| Huko: you sure do hate when the attention isnt on you, don't ya?
[02 May 23:12:55] o-}HooK{-o Wars: keep talking shit
[02 May 23:13:03] |Watchmen| Huko: you literally brought back up just incase dude
[02 May 23:13:08] |Watchmen| Huko: be quiet retard
[02 May 23:13:11] o-}HooK{-o Wars: I did?
[02 May 23:13:22] o-}HooK{-o Wars: No personal attack pls
[02 May 23:13:31] o-}HooK{-o Wars: attacks*
[02 May 23:13:39] |Watchmen| Huko: once again you heard the word retard and feel personally attacked by it
[02 May 23:13:56] o-}HooK{-o Trapt: <---- We have people that are intallektly challenged
[02 May 23:14:10] (Seekers) Gilduran raises his hand.
[02 May 23:14:11] o-}HooK{-o Wars: Huko its quite obvious who you are talking to as I was the one talking.
[02 May 23:14:35] |Watchmen| Huko: poor disability girl feeling sad ?
[02 May 23:15:03] .:|Wolf|:. Rumour: enough, okay! Be nice or be quiet.
[02 May 23:15:14] o-}HooK{-o Noegel: I like to rub stinging nettles on my nipples
[02 May 23:15:17] o-}HooK{-o Robbo: Nice? On gclan?
#15921 + (24 ) X
(Friend) Six: 'Why do people always quote me when I'm saying my dick is small, or I want my butthole to pucker, or I want sperm on my face?'
#16484 + (34 ) X
(Friend) Stolen Halo: 'my email is ********... however, if you send me porn, send it to ********* :P'
#15189 + (31 ) X
(Friend) C:\> Charasan: 'ToL goes communist around midnight my time'

Pending quotes: 0; Approved quotes: 5389